Good morning world. This weekend we saw the movie War Room. It was great! I laughed. I cried. A multitude of emotions ran through me during the course of this movie.
After, I was really really sad and upset with myself. How many times had I prayed and done studies on how to be a more Godly wife and mother. How many times had I cried out to the Lord? Had I stopped too soon? Had I given up?
I still do not have any answers to these questions. I am just not quite as upset as I was. Patrick held my hand after the movie. I felt nothing. That scared me some. I had told him over the years the reason certain things upset me so much was because I cared so much. That he should be worried when I get to the point that I do not care anymore. Am I there?
I do not have the answer to that question either.
The only thing I know to do is to pray. But today, I am not sure I can even do that. And that is about as honest as I can get. There are things that have been said to me that I cannot get out of my mind. Patrick has said "sorry" for most of it. However, the words are still there.
I am not leaving my husband or my family. And I know this too shall pass. I am grateful I have Jesus to run to. I just need to start running, I guess.
I do feel some hope though. Maybe if my prayer life is more diligent and I spend more time in the word and with God.
33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Matthew 3:33 NIV
Be blessed and be a blessing,
Just some of my thoughts and actions,
Elizabeth
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